Separation Anxiety!

My kidlets went to stay with my inlaws last Friday, and don't come back until this Friday. In Australia, the school year starts end of January and finishes up the middle of December. The kids then have 6 weeks Christmas / Summer holidays. So before they went away, they'd already been on holidays for 5 weeks and were driving me I.N.S.A.N.E!!!

Like any parent with kids home for school holidays, we crave a little alone time, so I was very surprised and relieved when my mother-inlaw asked if the kids wanted to stay the last week of the holidays. But after 2 days I went into separation anxiety mode. Sunday night I was desparate for them to call me just so I could know they were ok and were having a good time, AND behaving themselves. All was good. I got my fix from their sweet voices, and my heart melted when my daughter told me not to forget to miss her. Awwww!

Then Tuesday came and the anxiety had well and truly set in. I was bummed out all day. I was in the middle of begging my husband to call his Mum to check on the kids when ... THEY CALLED!!! I literally raced to the phone knowing it would be them. I almost broke down and cried when I heard my babygirls voice, even more so when the first thing she said to me was that she missed me.

I couldn't sleep last night. I had tears in my eyes. I crave my kids. I crave their constant nagging. I crave their bickering with each other. I crave having to tell my son off a gazillion times for not listening to me, for fighting with his sister, for running in the house. I crave their hugs & kissses. I crave tucking them in each night. I crave my butterfly kiss ritual my daughter and I do every night. I crave checking on them before going to bed, opening their doors, pulling their covers back over them. I crave their presence.

I MISS MY BABIES!!!

I know I am probably over-reacting. I know I need to "cut the cord" at some stage. I know I should be enjoying a week's quiet time. But they are my life and I miss them terribly!

Oh, yeah, it's my birthday .. tomorrow!

I have really mixed feelings about it being my birthday tomorrow. Yes, I am excited because it's my birthday and I have 3 big boxes wrapped up that have been sitting in the lounge room for a couple of weeks now that I CANNOT wait to open lol BUT, the thought of turning 35 saddens me. I am not enjoying growing old.

I absolutely dreaded turning the big 3-0 but as it got closer, I really embraced it. I rocked the night out until the next day. I stayed up all night singing MeatLoaf into a microphone that I am sure scared the living daylights out of the neighbours. I drank so much that I think I drank myself sober. And I partied like there was no tomorrow. I partied so much that I didn't go to bed until 9am the following day, and drove home with the worst hangover ever, BUT I LOVED IT!!! And it was a new chapter for me since my 20's had been very sad and tough on me emotionally.

I don't really know why I am not embracing each birthday since my 30th, but all I know is - I DON'T WANNA GET OLD! Maybe I feel like so many years were wasted. Maybe I am not liking the fact that I am looming closer and closer to the big 4-0. Maybe I am just a neurotic idiot! Who knows???

In anycase, yeah it's my damn birthday tomorrow and I'll sook if I want to lol Nah, I won't ... MUCH! Nothing exciting planned. Just heading to my sister's house so our kidlets can play in the wading pool (she has a 2 yr old so no big pool for them), then head home to wait until Mr H comes home so I can open those pressies. I am really hoping for new kitchen stuff for our new house when the bloody thing gets built.

So, here's to another birthday .. and another year older boobloodyhoo!!! Stupid birthday. If it wasn't for the pressies & cake, I would totally boycott it lol

New Year's Resolution 2009

I don't like making NYR, purely for the fact that more often than not, THEY DON'T LAST! Every year at this time I always start off by saying that I want to lose this awful 30kgs I have packed on the last 10 or so years. I never do. I am the Queen of starting things and never finishing them.

So my NYR isn't to lose weight but to take time out for myself so that I can be happy with the outside, and heal the inside.

We finally finished our fences NYE and hubby took pics of me standing by them. When I saw the pics I didn't recognise myself. There, standing by the fence, was this bloated, obese, frumpy, unhappy person staring back at me. How could I let myself get this way?

How often do us women lose ourselves and become shells of our former selves? Why do we always put ourselves last? How do we get to the point where we think it's OK to not care about our appearance anymore?

I, like many, am guilty of the typical "frumpy housewife" look - oversized, baggy clothes, no makeup, hair just pulled back EVERY DAY! So, that is why I am going to make an effort this year to look after myself. Simple things like shaping my eyebrows and checking each day to see if they need plucking, working on my weight so I don't have to wear oversized, baggy clothes, shaving my legs regularly instead of going for the cavewoman look even in Summer (~~ gasp ~~), moving more instead of wasting my day away sitting at the computer, giving myself a facial each week, painting my finger & toe nails .. so on and so on!!! Just because I am a Mum and a housewife doesn't mean I can't take pride in my appearance. It doesn't mean I have to settle for less than I am truly worth. I WILL be beautiful again!!!

HERE'S TO A NEW YEAR AND A NEW ME!

Oh dear .. MIA .. sorry!

I have just had so much going on the past few months, that I completely forgot about my lil ol' blog! Firstly HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. Wishing you the best for 2009! Hmm I will try to see what I can remember about what we've done while I've been MIA ..

~~ We FINALLY finished the fences on our block of land on NYE

~~ Kids have been on school holidays since 12th Dec. (end of school year / Christmas / Summer)

~~ Christmas Day was spent an hour and half down "South" visiting 1st my family (Dad, 1 sis, my bro & his family who we hadn't seen for 5 yrs) then lunch at my inlaws. Great day!!!

~~ NYE was spent at home again. Just Mr H, kidlets and me. Mr H and I had a few quiets drinks while trying to kick each other's arse at Gran Turismo on the PS2 lol

I think that's pretty much it apart from a bunch of birthdays after my son J's (nieces, nephews, inlaws, step-son). Not a lot to report really without boring you all with the finer details. I will try to catch up again and post pics when I have time later. I'll also do my blog-read rounds and catch up with what everyone has been doing. Doesn't look like anyone missed me though boohoo lol